Al DiGiulio

So Al, What's Happening?

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Selfies In The Gym.

guy in gym taking selfie in mirror

At the gym this morning, some guy kept looking at himself in the mirror and taking selfies. I thought, this guy has to be single because no one could ever give him the same attention he gives himself. I bet even his reflection wishes it could get the hell out of that relationship.


single-spaced letter

Today a defendant accused of stalking and harassment admitted on cross examination that "Yes, I did send that single-spaced six page letter" and then it dawned on me that almost every single-spaced letter I have ever seen or received was written by a sociopath.


woman wearing respirator mask on nyc subway

Walking to the gym before work, I passed a woman on the street wearing a respirator mask for no apparent reason. I thought for a second - what if something happens and I need one? Then I quickly realized that if something did happen, and those were the type of people that survived, then I'd rather be dead. So, no respirator mask for me. I just kept walking.

Morning People.

woman in bed waking up

My favorite morning people are those with a blank expression, wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day, sipping coffee from a paper cup, and holding a lit cigarette while jaywalking into traffic seemingly hoping to be put out of their misery.

The Accused.

Jodie Foster in The Accused

I feel like Jodie Foster in "The Accused" with all this tree pollen blowing all over me as I walk to work. Get off me. I'm not interested.

Send In The Clowns.


Just heard "Send in the Clowns." Always hated that song. So much self-pity. Could things really be that bad? If so, you're your own worst enemy with those clowns. Stop whining.

Grow Up.

female hipster

I was just passed on the sidewalk by a female 40 something hipster wannabe on a razor scooter in my Jersey City neighborhood. First Cicadas and now this?!

Thank God It's Friday!

Susan Boyle playing bagpipes

One of my neighbors is always practicing the bagpipes when I come home from work. Nothing says Friday night like a funeral dirge.