This poster from the gym illustrates what I have come to describe as "Open-Mouthed Smile Syndrome." I am making an instructional video soon to help those struggling to overcome this terrible and off-putting syndrome (usually affecting those pretending really hard to be having fun).
So Al, What's Happening?
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Today I passed a city worker with a leaf blower just aimlessly pointing it in circles and meandering up and down the sidewalk along City Hall Park. It reminded me of those people in the old days who used vibrating belt machines in the hopes of losing weight. The job really requires just a little hard work. You don't need a machine (unless that machine has the capability to stop self-delusion).
This is a photo from our security cam of me on my stoop talking with a postal worker today as I got home from work. The following is our exchange:
Al: Hi. These pieces of mail are for three different homes on the next block, but they were placed in my mailbox yesterday.
PW: I can't take them. I'm just filling in today. It's not my job.
Al: It's not your job to deliver the mail to the correct homes? Huh? Well, whose job is it?
PW: I don't know. This isn't my regular route. I can't take any outgoing mail. I just deliver what I have.
Al: This isn't outgoing mail. It is mail for the next block that was delivered to the wrong home.
PW: You'll have to leave it in your mailbox until the regular guy comes back.
Al: So, you won't take these three pieces of mail and deliver them to the homes on the next block?
PW: No. Call the post office or wait for the regular guy to come back.
Al: Actually, I have a better idea.
I then proceeded to follow her as she slowly made her way to the next block. As she was delivering the mail to each of the three homes, I would stand behind her and say "here you go, 266 4th Street / 268 4th Street / 270 4th Street" and hand her the piece of mail to put in the mailbox. We did this three times. She said nothing. Her facial expression seemed to say "wow, you're a psycho" and my expression back was "you bet I am."